Messages from the Akatsuki
by FreeFly629
Summary: Team 7 gets a new mission: A man is getting strange messages from the Akatsuki. A possible threat, they are to decipher these messages and protect this man at all costs! But then, turns out that these messages were not exactly what they expected to be...


**[sarcasm **

**Yes, everybody. I own Naruto. Yes, I own him and created him, and Mashashi Kishimoto did not. In fact, there is no Mashashi Kishimoto, there never has been, and there will never be.**

**[/sarcasm **

**Oh yeah, by the way, if you haven't found out already for some strange reason I was being sarcastic, I don't own Naruto. So don't sue me!!!**

**This is my first fanfiction!!! I feel so excited!!! YAYS!!! Some characters are a bit out-of-character and I don't know if I can review fast, but please read and review!!! I couldn't think of a better title ( **

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"Okay guys, today you will all be receiving a new…mission! Yes…lets go with that! Well anyway it's to –"

"OH BOY A MISSON!!! OH EM GEE YAY!!! OH BOY OH BOY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL DAY!!! OH BOY OH BOY I—"

"NARUTO!" An enraged Sakura cut of Naruto with a blow to the head. "Lady Tsunade has important information for us! It would be irrational to interrupt an informational verbal communication on the subject of the crucial points of our mission, which could in due course in the future lead to an imminent failure in our mission that of course would unquestionably without doubt cause us to not comply with the shinobi…"

"Know-it-all" coughed Kakashi as Sakura droned on about who-cares-what.

Suddenly Sasuke interrupted his pink-haired teammate. "Tsunade, is this going to be another pathetic attempt at a filler arc that was cut out of the manga because it sucks devised simply to get rid of us and take up space so it looks like the writers did more work?"

"Uhhh….maaaaaaaaayyyyybeeee…………what ever gave you that crazy idea? shifty eyes That's ridiculous…we would never do that! Heh…heh…well anyway this is your mission: You know about the Akatsuki, right? Oh wait…maybe I shouldn't of said that. QUICKLY KAKASHI!!! SHUT SASUKE UP BEFORE HE STARTS WAILING ABOUT HOW ITATCHI RUINED CHRISTMAS!!! KAKASHI!!!"

"It's okay, I got him." The masked man gave a thumbs up to Tsunade while covering a struggling Sasuke in the other.

"Well anyway, they've been sending strange messages to an old man there. You're job is to go over there, find out what all of this is about, and then protect him from any threats."

"What's in these messages?" asked Kakashi.

"Well, if we knew that, they wouldn't be _strange_, now would they!" Tsunade rolled her eyes. "The nerve of SOME ninjas! Also one more thing…this village is very, to put it in nice terms…special…"

"Really? YAY OMG SPECIAL YAY I'M SPECIAL JUST LIKE THE VILLAGE BELIEVE IT YAY I'M SO SPECIAL I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE YAY I'M SPECIAL BELIEVE IT!!!" shouted Naruto, jumping up in the air.

Tsunade made a mental note to deduct Team 7's pay and to send them on a A-ranked filler arc to see if they would die 2 months later as Kakashi's other free hand silenced Naruto. "Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Kakashi Hatake…you will now be known as Ikamuzu Oturan, Ahichu Ekusas, Orunah Arukas, and Ekatah Ihsakak! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

_So that's how my name sounded backward! I always wondered! Believe it! _thought Naruto.

What kind of name is Ahichu??? Ekusas??? I will not allow such disgrace on the Uchiha clan!!! NO!!! I vow to defeat Itachi and restore my clan! thought Sasuke. 

_ARIGATO!!! _(A/N: (Apparently means Author's Note…figured that out all by my self recently!!! I feel so proud ) Apparently that means 'thank you' in Japanese. I feel so happy for knowing another Japanese word!!! -- I just LOVE that smiley!!! Okay, I should _REALLY_ go back to the story…)_ Thanks! Ekusas rhymes with Arukas!!! My new name rhymes with Sasuke's!!! YAY!!!_ thought Sakura

"Wait…why are we supposed to be known as ourselves with our names spelled backwards?" asked Sakura.

"Because…I FEEL like it. So meh. Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!"

"Did you take your medication today, sensei?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Sakura! I forgot! Silly me!" Tsunade briefly placed her hands to her head and cast healing jutsu making her hands glow. "Well, now I'm better!!! Oh yeah, where was I? Well, anyway, the village has been very paranoid since the Dancing Mushroom invasion of '81, so they monitor who goes in, and who goes out. Sort of like Stalkerweb! Which I am definitely not a member of! shifty eyes Perhaps I said too much…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto broke free of Kakashi's grasp. "'81? Wait…what _year_ are we in??? I mean we have digital wristwatches, refrigerators, and computers, but what about cars? And we still have 'ninjas'…what's up with that?"

_Damn it! Naruto broke free of Kakashi's grasp to annoy the Hokage while I am still unable to speak!!! Why? I must defeat him! NYAH! _thought Sasuke.

"ASK THIS MYSTERIOUS WRITER OF THE SERIES!!!" (A/N That's not me, the author of the real series. I'm not taking credit for the creation of Naruto…I _really_ don't want to be sued again shivers. Also don't bombard Mashashi Kishimoto…and if you do, which you should not, don't tell them that I told you to do it…hides)yelled the Hokage. "The system is very secure and secret, and almost knowone knows about it, or how to defeat it. But I do!"

"Hey...How do you know that? Hey Granny Tsunade...have you been stalking them???" asked Naruto.

"WHAT!!! DO I LOOK LIKE A STALKER TO YOU??? I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE WEBSITES ONLY STALKERS KNOW ABOUT AS MY HOME PAGE I DO NOT STALK PEOPLE!!! IN FACT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS STALKER WEB SITE!!! shifty eyes

"Anyway, tomorrow when you come to the gate of the town, just repeat those names, and you should get in! See, those names were the names of people who left the village but died unexpectedly due to cough "unknown" cough incident involving the mole peop—THEY DON'T EXIST!!! Well _anyways_ you look enough like them so you have to say that you're them. After that you can remove your false identities and look for a man called Maigske (Myg-skay). You are to find him, decipher these messages, and protect him. You are dismissed," said Tsunade. "Understand?"

"YEAH! BELIEVE IT!" yelled Naruto.

"Hai, sensei!" chirped Sakura. (A/N Yay! Another Japanese word! That means yes, I feel so proud!)

"Hai," replied Kakashi, looking up from his "book". "I understand"

"Mrrff!" mumbled Sasuke, since he still had his mouth covered.

Team 7 was heading out the door of the Hokage's office.

Naruto turned his head. "Hey, Granny Tsunade! I have a question!"

Tsunade screamed. "AAAAAAAHHH!!!! Looks around WHAT UNDERGROUND CITY OF THE MOLE PEOPLE THERE IS NO UNDERGROUND CITY OF THE MOLE PEOPLE THAT'S RIDICULOUS THERE NEVER HAS BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE WHERE DID YOU GET THIS IDEA THAT'S RIDICULOUS MOLE PEOPLE THERE IS NO SUCH THING WHO TOLD YOU THAT EVEN IF THERE WAS AN UNDERGROUND CITY OF THE MOLE PEOPLE WHICH I'M NOT SAYING THERE IS THEN I PROBABLY WOULDN'T TELL YOU TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THE COVER-UP CONSPIRACY'S HANDS BECAUSE I LIKE TO THINK OF US AS FRIENDS YOU AND I RIGHT RIGHT AND IF A FRIEND ACCIDENTALLY LEAKED THAT THERE WAS AN UNDERGROUND CITY OF THE MOLE PEOPLE WHICH THERE ISN'T THEN YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT FRIEND BECAUSE AHHHHHHHHH IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE I GOTTA LEAVE TOWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNN HIDE ME BECAUSE THERE'S NO UNDERGROUND CITY OF THE MOLE PEOPLE NEVER HAS BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE WHAT DID I DO I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING LET ME GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Now let's never speak of this again. Shifty eyes"

"Riiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtttttt…" Kakashi gathered the rest of the team around him. "We'll just be aaah…_going_ now…"

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_Hmm…_ Sakura thought as she walked home. _This sure is going to be an interesting mission tomorrow! I should train to get ready!_

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**Well…end of chapter 1, I guess…I got the mole people thing from my friend. So please review! I hope you liked it, if you didn't, please give feed back! It's my first fanfic so yeah…**

**Well anyway review! Or else!!! **_please? Please? PLEASE???_

**Moonheart**


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